Ever wonder if that guy you're chatting with online is legit? Maybe the girl you found on a dating site seems a bit too good to be true, and yet, she seems really into you... could this be love or something else?
Online dating is a convenient way to meet new people, but it's also a convenient way for people to engage in selfish, or even malicious, acts of deception. This is of increasing public concern, given the growing use of dating apps. For many people, dating apps are a path to finding stable and healthy relationships. In fact, a recent survey suggests that over 40 percent of people in established relationships met their current partners online (Rosenfeld, Thomas, & Hausen, 2019), a number that has skyrocketed in the last decade. Online dating is clearly a helpful way to meet partners. But there are risks—not the least of which is catfishing.
What Is Catfishing?
When people intentionally misrepresent themselves online, perhaps adopting a fake identity or spinning stories about a past that holds no link to the truth, they are—in colloquial terms—"catfishing." Catfishing relationships typically remain online, with one person believing it is legitimate, and the other knowing it is not.
Online dating deception is fairly normative and largely benign. It usually refers to simply accentuating favorable features or downplaying less desirable ones. In other words, people using online dating apps regularly self-present in a not-perfectly-accurate way (e.g., perhaps noting their height or weight imprecisely) and most of these people have good intentions; they are simply engaging in strategic self-presentation.
The goal of catfishing is different. From the very start, catfishing's core is deception; there are usually no plans to move a relationship offline because it's not an honest relationship.
In its most extreme form, catfishing involves throwing out the bait (e.g., attractive photos, words expressed that suggest sincere interest) and then stringing the victim along for a bit before escalating to requests for money or personal information. Not all catfishing involves financial scams, but when it does, catfishing can mislead individuals to think they are in a legitimate relationship to the point where they want to send money or help. They've been scammed: hook, line, and sinker.
Who Perpetrates Catfishing and Who Are the Victims?
A recent study (Mosley et al., 2020) suggests that both men and women perpetrate catfishing, although proportionally, men are more likely to do so. Remember here that catfishing need not necessarily involve financial scams: simply creating a relationship that is false—maybe even a game to the catfisher—while it feels real and important to the other person fits the definition of catfishing. Women are more likely to be victims of catfishing. Both of these findings may reflect cultural norms that define men as relationship initiators, placing them in a position to catfish, versus being the target of catfishing.
People higher in attachment anxiety appear to be more prone to perpetrating catfishing and are more likely to be victims of catfishing compared to individuals with more secure attachment orientations. Perhaps concerns of rejection and distrust about one's own self-worth motivate the deceptive self-presentation that underlies catfish perpetration by highly anxious individuals. Maintaining a relationship without putting the self at risk might allow for relational closeness while protecting the self. Why anxious individuals are victims of catfishing is less clear.
Be on Alert for Red Flags
Prioritizing safety is a critical first step in seeking companionship. Be skeptical when a person seems "too good to be true," or has online friends who are predominantly the sex they seem to be attracted to; these might be people who, like you, are being victimized with a false relationship. When people make excuse after excuse for not meeting up in person, this too may be a red flag. And of course, any requests for private information (e.g., bank info or social security numbers) or requests for money transfers signal this is very likely a scam. Loneliness can make us long for a relationship; be proactive in taking steps to protect yourself from becoming a victim of catfishing.
Facebook image: fizkes/Shutterstock
References
Mosley, M. A., Lancaster, M., Parker, M. L., & Campbell, K. (2020). Adult attachment and online dating deception: a theory modernized, Sexual and Relationship Therapy, DOI: 10.1080/14681994.2020.1714577
Rosenfeld, M. J., Thomas, R. J., & Hausen, S. (2019). Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(36), 17753-17758.
FAQs
27% of online daters say they have been catfished within 12 months. In 2022, 366 million individuals dated online. Over half of the online daters trusted their online match before meeting them. People download dating apps to find love.
Where is catfishing common? ›
Relative to population size, residents of Alaska and Nevada have the nation's biggest catfishing problems. Those are the only two states that reported more than 10 incidents of catfishing per 100,000 people in 2021, coming in at 11.9 in Alaska and 11.2 in Nevada.
What age group is most likely to get catfished? ›
64% of women over 40 are the most likely target of predators, while 24% of all catfishers pose as a different gender. Catfishing scams involve every age group, from 18 to 70+, with every group targeted.
How serious is catfishing? ›
Being catfished can cause mental health concerns, such as, anxiety and depression, and it can also cause financial loss. If the person who has been catfished sent any explicit images or 'sexted' with the catfisher, they may feel betrayed and become worried and paranoid that the catfisher will expose them publicly.
How many kids get catfished? ›
1 in 5 children report they've been solicited or contacted by a predator in the last year. Chances are a child you know has had this experience. It's frightening to think about and terrifying for a child caught in a predator's trap.
How can I tell if Im being catfished? ›
How can I spot a catfish?
- They want to know your personal details. ...
- Conversations that get personal very quickly. ...
- You can't find any trace of them online. ...
- They ask you for money. ...
- They ask you to keep your relationship secret. ...
- They avoid face-to-face contact. ...
- Their stories don't add up.
California is America's catfishing capital. Here's how to protect yourself against romance scams. Romance scams have accounted for $1.3 billion in losses over the previous five years alone, topping any other FTC fraud category.
What state catches the most catfish? ›
Alabama tops the list of must-visit states for many big-cat aficionados. In recent years, waters like Wheeler, Wilson and Pickwick lakes on the Tennessee River have become world renowned for producing huge blue cats, including several exceeding 100 pounds.
What do catfishers want? ›
Why do people catfish? People catfish because they have low self-esteem or want to use a fake identity to gain someone's trust for the sake of defrauding them. People also catfish to ruin someone's reputation or engage in cyberbullying.
Is catfishing illegal kids? ›
Legally speaking, catfishing can be considered a form of online deception or identity theft and may be punishable by law depending on the severity of the case. For example, if a catfisher uses someone else's personal information to commit fraud or other criminal activities, they could face serious legal consequences.
Catfishing can lead to jail time if it results in an adult having sex or attempting to have sex with an underage person — even if the child claimed to be older, and even if you believe the child is older.
Who is the most catfished face? ›
Adult film star Janessa Brazil is the most impersonated person in the world...for catfishing scams. Host Hannah Ajala travels the world in search of the real Janessa, while investigating several incidents of catfish victims who believed they were in relationships with her.
Can the police do anything about catfishing? ›
When the person engaging in catfishing does commit criminal fraud, he or she may face legal justice if the victim is able to identify who he or she is and contact the authorities in taking the matter to the courts. This often requires the help of a service to investigate the matter and find the individual.
What mental illness causes catfishing? ›
Someone suffering from depression might have very low self-esteem and feel like they are not 'good enough'. There are many different conditions that can make people feel that the only way they can communicate with people effectively or with confidence is by pretending to be somebody else.
How to find out if someone is a catfish by picture? ›
If you suspect you're dealing with a catfish, use an online reverse image search to find out if the person's photos are on anyone else's online profiles. You can also search their messages online. Take any particularly unique or romantic lines they've written to you and search to see if they pop up anywhere else.
Who is most targeted by catfishing? ›
While not all dating deception is nefarious, some catfishing schemes are designed to scam victims out of money or valuable personal information. Though both men and women fall prey to catfishing, women are more likely to be victims, as are people with anxious attachments.
Is catfishing common on dating sites? ›
And thanks to the show and growing tech literacy, deceptive online daters should've been a thing of the past — but it's still more common than ever and just as easy to do. Almost anyone who's used a dating app in the last half decade or so has a story of being catfished (or, at least, someone trying to catfish them).
Why is catfishing so popular? ›
Motivations for catfishing are typically malevolent and may include sexual, financial, or social gain. The practice is often attributed to the online disinhibition effect.
